Pain from a Blessing

This entry came about because of some very personal things that happened in my life recently that God has used. It all happened around Thanksgiving, and largely because of my sister’s wedding. These two things brought everyone in my family together in a way it really hasn’t been in a while. This was a blessing, but it also caused some pain when it came to an end.

We were left reminded of the days that were behind us. Personally, I was reminded of the years I spent where my relationship with my parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents, and other relatives pretty much defined my life. All I did was with them for many years of my life, and those relationships brought me great joy. While many of those relationships remain (some of the people from those days have passed on) my life is now totally different. I live with my wife, and three of my siblings are now also out of the house. Things are different now. What we once had isn’t gone, but it is much different than it once was.

This is what can cause pain. Looking back on the happy times we had with loved ones can cause us pain. I know this is a common experience. People lose loved ones to death all the time. Parents have children go to college, or daughters get married. We must deal with someone we were used to always being around suddenly being on their own, and not with us so much. It’s painful, and some people never recover from the pain because they forget a very important principle. This pain is a blessing.

Many never get to know this pain because they never knew the blessing. Some people never get to have children to miss. Some don’t get to know their parents, or wish they never did. Some don’t have good families, and consider the day they get to leave them and never return a blessing. Some are beaten, abused, or killed. Some have children who never get old enough to start their own lives. Some never had a best friend who went in a different direction in life, or a spouse to miss when they had to go away on a business trip.

If you are hurting because of such things remember this. One of the primary signs that this is a fallen world is that these blessings are accompanied by pain. Don’t get wrapped up in the pain, but thank God for the blessing. The pain cannot erase the blessing. It can keep us from moving on in life, or help us make stupid decisions to fill the void. This is less likely if we remember to be thankful to God for the blessings, and to let Him help us with the pain.

Too Good

The final lesson of this parable is often overlooked, but it is arguably the most important lesson of the parable for those that are saved. It is a key lesson on many topics, but especially forgiveness and jealousy. This portion is less about the prodigal son, and more about his older brother. The brother who did not turn from the father. The brother who stayed loyal to him, and honored him. He finds out about the celebration going on over his brother returning, but he refuses to join in. His father came to him in Luke 15:28-32:

“But he (the prodigal son’s brother) was angry, and would not go in. Therefore his father came out and pleaded with him. So he answered and said to his father, ‘Lo, these many years I have been serving you; I never transgressed your commandment at any time; and yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might make merry with my friends. But as soon as this son of yours came, who devoured your livelihood with harlots, you killed the fatted calf for him.’ And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that I have is yours. It was right that we should make merry and be glad, for your brother was dead and is alive again, and was lost and is found.”

The ‘good’ son refuses to join the celebration. He is jealous, angry, and bitter. In a sense his anger is out of defense for his father, but he is primarily jealous. What does he get for his jealousy? He misses out on the feast.

In so many ways we can easily act like this brother. Most significantly, we can often refuse to forgive someone who the Lord has offered forgiveness to. We can be upset because we have always been loyal to the Lord, and we have always been good to the Lord, but when this person who took all that the Lord offered to them and used it for evil is forgiven we get upset. Why should they be celebrated over, and not us? This line of thinking can extend to our personal lives. At our jobs a new employee can come in, and get all this recognition. Meanwhile, we’ve been slaving away at this same job for 20 years and have never even been invited to the Christmas party. We want to know not just when we’re gonna get what we deserve, but why do those who do worse than us get celebrated over?

Want to know what we get for having such a high opinion of ourselves? Nothing. We miss out on the feast. While those who are willing to forgive much because they’ve been forgiven much get to enjoy the rewards of it we get nothing for our bitterness. We get to stand outside, and be alone. God can plead with us to change our attitude, but we can even let our bitterness extend to Him when we see those we think aren’t as good as we are get blessed with friends, power, money, and what we view as a great life. We wonder why not us? This is foolish to wonder. It only keeps us out of the feast.

Overcoming Guilt

It is easy to tell that the son is shocked by the joy his father shows at his return. He knows he doesn’t deserve it, and initially tries to reject it. This is shown in Luke 15:21:

“And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.”

Even though the father has shown the son his love he is still absorbed by the sins he committed. He still considers himself unworthy. We can be the same way with God, and tell Him we do not deserve His forgiveness. Verses 22-24 shows us that the father, and our Father, will have none of that:

“But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and sandals on his feet. And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us be merry; for my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry.”

The father is joyful to have his son back, and will pay no attention to his talking about how unworthy he is. This father has offered him ultimate grace, and rejoices that his son that was lost is found. God is the same way.

God knows we have sinned. He knows we are depraved. He doesn’t care. He offers us grace. He forgives, and forgets. If we will just come to Him then He will come to us. He will celebrate because we have come to Him. He will bless us in immeasurable ways we do not deserve, and not hold our previous evil acts against us.

Do not hold onto shame. That feeling of shame is a weapon used by the enemy to bring us back down to his level again. Let go of the shame, of the anger toward yourself, and of the self-loathing. God will have none of it. Accept His grace, and know there is a God in heaven that loves you, and will rejoice because His child has come to Him. Love Him, and know you are loved in return.

One last, unrelated note. Have a Merry Christmas! Whether with familes or apart remember this is a celebration of the great gift we were given in the form of Jesus Christ. That is always a good reason to celebrate. Merry Christmas!

A Great Way Off

The next set of verses teaches us a lot about who God is, and how much He loves us. They display when the prodigal son returned to his father. The son expected to be scorned, for he had truly done evil, and wasted away all his father had given him. He didn’t expect much from his father. He just knew things would be better near him than far away. He did not expect the actual reaction. Jesus tells us what happened in Luke 15:20:

“And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him.”

The father responds not in anger, but in love. Not with judgment, but with mercy. He had compassion. This is a great reflection of our heavenly Father. When we turn from our evil ways He can see us even when we are still a great way off from coming to him. He will run to us. It was beneath the man in this parable to run to his son. It was socially unacceptable for so many reasons. This son had disgraced him by telling him life would be better if he were dead. Associating with him made the father seem like less of a man. Beyond that, in order to run in the outfit it was traditional for one such as him to wear he would have had to lift up his cloak, and run in a way that was considered very dishonorable. The father didn’t care. He did whatever he had to so that he could go to his son he thought was lost.

God doesn’t care either. He will come to us. It doesn’t matter what society says about how God should be. It doesn’t matter if others tell us they will not forgive us when we’ve done wrong. Our father is above society. He will run to us, and embrace us when we need him. He will see us from a long way off, and have compassion on us that we do not expect or deserve. All we have to do is turn to him. He will come to us when we do.

Unworthy

Verses 18 and 19 of Luke 15 act as a sort of caution against a certain type of thinking. They are the thoughts that immediately come to the prodigal son after he has come to his senses, and realizes he has greatly dishonored his father. He knows now he needs forgiveness, and his life can be immensely better if he draws near to the father. The next thoughts he has are ones we can often have when we realize our own depravity, and we want to come to the Lord. Verses 18 and 19 say:

“I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.”

The son is ashamed, and in his shame he does not feel like he really deserves the forgiveness of the father. He doesn’t feel like he is worthy of the position he once held, and he will be satisfied holding some lowly place in his father’s house. We can feel this same way when we turn from our evil ways, and think we don’t deserve the grace we know God can offer us. This way of thinking is a trap set by Satan, and by our own insecurities.

Sometimes we really mess up just like the prodigal son did. Often we realize our need for forgiveness, and our need for God, but we are ashamed to ask for it. We don’t feel like we deserve forgiveness. We don’t deserve to be in God’s presence, and the best thing we can do is spend the rest of our lives hiding from him in the hopes He will spare us His wrath, for His wrath is just what we deserve.

This is true. His wrath is all we deserve, but that is not what God offers us. No matter how we’ve fallen, or how we’ve sinned the Lord wants to forgive us. Jesus died on the cross for that, and that shows just how screwed up God knows we are. He knows of the many evil things we’ve done, and He wants to save us. Don’t let your mistakes consume you, and convince you that you cannot rise to the same position God once had in store for you. Do not think that you cannot be forgiven. Overcome your shame, ask for forgiveness, and go the Lord. He did a lot so you could be forgiven. Don’t allow your sin to destroy you. Don’t let your mistakes consume you. Instead go to God, accept His forgiveness, and accept the great things He has planned for you.

But when we come to Ourselves

I love the way the next verse, Luke 15:17, starts. The first six words reflect so much how things can rapidly turn around for us, and how God can instantly rip us from our evil ways. That verse states:

“But when he came to himself, he said, ‘how many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!”

Those first words of “But when he came to himself” are the key here. It’s the moment he realized that pursuing all these things outside of God were leaving him in want. They were literally and figuratively causing him to perish with hunger. This singular thought is an important thought that can turn someone’s life around. When we finally admit to ourselves that the things we pursue are causing us to perish with hunger, and following God will ensure we have bread enough to spare. Not literal bread, but the bread of life that satisfies our inner desires, and leaves us forever full.

I have had to deal with the same type of turn around as the prodigal son. There were many years of my life where I chose to run from the calling the Lord had for me. I instead wanted to study Asia, go to Asia, live in Asia, and love all things about Asia. Asia not being something evil in itself, but it is not God. It is not as good as God. It was wrong to put it up there as the thing to pursue instead of my Father’s will. Putting Asia in the place of God left me perishing with hunger just like the prodigal son.

Turning from the Father, and considering other pursuits more worthy of our time than the pursuit of the Lord’s will can cause us all to perish with hunger. It is in this hunger where God can speak to us, and remind us that those that serve him are never left empty. It is in that moment where He reaches out to us that we should repent of what we’ve done, and turn to Him. It is in that moment that everything in our lives can change.

Being Stubborn

Things would have been easier for the prodigal son if he would have accepted his need for the father as soon as he was left in want. Unfortunately, the prodigal son turned out to be a little stubborn. Luke 15:15-16 tells us:

“Then he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything.”

Instead of turning back to the father the son continued to rely on other things even though those other things refused to help him. This is very much like us. Sometimes we turn to money for security, but we can never seem to hold onto it. Do we refuse to turn from the pursuit of money as a result? No. We instead look for new ways to acquire what we desire even though there has never been a time that it has satisfied us. Also, when we choose to worship sex, do we turn from it after it has left us wanting? No. We instead keep looking for new people to have sex with, or turn to porn, ourselves, or anything else to fill that void within us. Or we can choose to put other things in the place of God hoping they’ll satisfy us. When money fails we can turn to sex. When sex fails we can turn to friends. When friends fail we can turn to power. When power fails we can turn to ourselves. We can always find something else to pursue when we are left in want.

We can choose to never really admit that we are worshiping the wrong things even if we, like the prodigal son, get so desperate that we find the filth of the swine desirable. We can be stubborn just like him.

Fortunately, things turned around with the very next verse. If we stop being stubborn, and turn from the things not worthy of worship, for it is evil to worship anything that is not God whether it is porn or our children, then things can also turn around for us. That is easier said than done, however, and I realize that. Difficult, however, is not impossible. Soon we will see just how we can break the chains of the things that always leave us in want, and learn how to turn to the one who can always fill us. It starts with the very next verse.

Left in Want

I’m sure the prodigal son started out being very happy with the decision he’d made. He’d rejected his father, and left his presence. He was out from under his father’s rule, and he could do whatever he wanted. He was free. Luke 15:13 tells us:

“And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living.”

It sounds like he was enjoying himself to me. I don’t know everything he did, but I do know he had sex (his brother later tells us that). Sure, he paid for it, but he probably thought it was great at the time. The world taught him to pursue sex above all else, and he did. He had money, and he had sex. Who knows what else he had? Maybe friends who stuck by him as long as he flashed money around. Maybe he gambled, and got a rush from it. I’m not really sure. I’m sure that it made him feel fulfilled. For a time. In the same way we can feel satisfied if we turn from God so that we can sleep around, gamble, use drugs, or just worship ourselves by accumulating wealth. For a time. The very next verse shows us precisely what happens when we turn away from God for such things:

“But when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in the land, and he began to be in want.”

Sin will always cause us to be in want. No matter how much we try to fill our hearts with our wealth, our families, our video games, or physical health, or anything else it is wrong to worship we will eventually be left in want. There is only one thing that we can fill ourselves with that will never leave us wanting, and that is the living water offered to us by Jesus Christ. Only with him can we be filled, and stay filled. No matter how we try to hold to other things, no matter how much we try to deny that they don’t really satisfy us, and no matter how hard we try to convince ourselves that we don’t need God the fact remains that we do. We need Him if we ever hope to be satisfied. We need him if we ever hope to be filled.

If God wasn't real...

I am not quite done with forgiveness, for these next entries will center on perhaps the most famous parable concerning forgiveness; the parable of the Prodigal Son. Most who have been to church just a handful of times have likely heard at least one sermon on this passage. I know I’ve heard lots of sermons on it, and I used to honestly role my eyes when I realized I’d be hearing yet another one. That was until I really studied the passage, and realized that countless amazing biblical truths can be found in this single parable. There are so many lessons that teach us so much, but also point us to one fact. God loves us, and wants us to be forgiven.

The first two verses, 11-12, teach us a lot about how we can choose to relate to God. They read:

“A certain man had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.’ So he divided to them his livelihood.”

Sounds polite enough in the translation, but these words are not polite. To the Jewish audience Jesus was speaking to they would not have been. What the son was really saying is he wishes his father was dead. He is tired of him hanging around. The son wants his inheritance now. He demands it. It’s the right of the father to slap the son at this request, and drive him out of town, but he doesn’t. He loves the son, and gives him his inheritance. He allows the son to live as if his father were dead.

Many of us relate to God in the same way. Most of us are afraid to admit it. I know I have allowed the thought creep into my head in the past that maybe it would just be easier if all this stuff I believed in wasn’t real. Maybe I would be happier if I just turned from God, and did whatever I want. I could at least know more joy if He would just bless me with riches now, and not make me wait to enjoy treasures in heaven. Sometimes those of us who have accepted God can fall into the line of thinking that life would be better if we didn’t serve God. We would live greater lives if we just did whatever we wanted. Some who look at the evidence, and know God is real refuse to accept Him for this very reason. They only want to live for themselves.

This way of thinking is wrong. Very wrong. The rest of the passage will show what results from living in such a way. The obvious reason is that none of this stuff we enjoy so much would even exist if God hadn’t created it. Aside from that is that man was not made to be separate from God. As the created we were made to be filled with the Creator. When we are not filled with the Creator than our lives are never as good as they could be. The rest of this passage shows things do not go so good for us.

God loves us, and will not strike us down because we desire to turn from Him. Sometimes he’ll let us see for ourselves what life is like apart from Him. It isn’t as glamorous as Satan tries to tell us it is. The coming verses make that very clear.

Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit

Many who want to be saved do not come to Christ because they believe the sins they’ve committed cannot or should not be forgiven. That isn’t true. Christ died for all sins. All can be forgiven. Only one sin is unforgivable, and it is not one that can even be committed by someone who has never been saved. Jesus tells us what that sin is in Luke 12:10:

“And anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man, it will be forgive him, but to him who blasphemes against the Holy Spirit, it will not be forgiven.”

Many get confused by this verse and tend to generalize blasphemy. There are multiple types of blasphemy, and the Lord states that only one kind is unforgivable. Anyone who claims God does not exist can be forgiven. Those who claim Jesus is not the son of God can be forgiven. Paul was forgiven of this very sin. The one type of blasphemy that cannot be forgiven is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.

Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is a sin a nonbeliever cannot commit. Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit can only be committed by someone who has been saved, and who has felt the redeeming power of Christ in their lives. Unforgivable blasphemy occurs if a saved person later claims to no longer believe in the Lord, Christ, and the power of the Holy Spirit. Anyone who has been redeemed by the Lord should always be able to feel the presence of the Holy Spirit in their lives. To be redeemed, and then to reject that redemption is a terrible thing to do. By doing so we betray ourselves, and betray the God who died on the cross so we could be redeemed. It’s rejecting the new man or woman the redemptive power of Jesus turned us into, and turning back to our old ways. Turning away from the Spirit is a sin the Lord will not forgive. Anyone who has never been saved has never felt the power of the Holy Spirit, and therefore cannot blasphemy against it.

This does not mean the Lord will not accept someone who turned away from Him, and later returned. He will accept your redemption, but He will not forgive that sin. He is angered when one His Spirit has resided in rejects Him, and He will not forget it even if that person later repents. I’m not a smart enough person to pretend I know exactly what this means. I only use the verse so those who have not been saved know they can be forgiven for anything they’ve done.

Betrayal

It is hard to forgive someone when they’ve betrayed us. It wounds us, and hurts us. It reveals to us that a person we thought could be trusted isn’t even the person we thought they were. Betrayals can tear us down, and throw our lives in disarray. Betrayals can cost us our jobs, break our families, and destroy our relationships. While God can use all things for His good there is nothing good about being betrayed.

Even when we know we should forgive a betrayal we often don’t want to. We can even use the Bible and what we’ve been taught in church to justify it. Didn’t Jesus speak of how someone can get divorced over adultery? Isn’t adultery a betrayal? It is. It’s when a husband or wife betrays the vows they made on their wedding day. Also, consider Judas; known as the great betrayer. Isn’t he one of the most hated and scorned figures in history? Wasn’t Absalom, the son of David, hated because he betrayed his father’s love, and overthrew his kingdom? Isn’t the whole reason this world is fallen because Adam and Eve betrayed the Lord? The Bible is filled with betrayals, and things don’t usually turn out too well for the betrayers. Are we not just in our refusal to forgive our betrayers?

No. We are not. The Bible teaches of betrayal, but also of forgiveness. God forgave Adam and Eve, and taught them how to live in the fallen world. He clothed them. David forgave Absalom, and mourned bitterly over his death. The betrayal of Judas teaches a powerful lesson taught us in scriptures, for it shows how all things can work together for the good of those who love the Lord. Without the betrayal of Judas there would have been no crucifixion, and no resurrection. There would be no forgiveness without the ultimate betrayal. Also, while it may be just to divorce someone who has committed an affair it is not just to refuse to forgive them for their sin.

Paul wrote these words in 2 Timothy 4:16 about those that had betrayed him:

“At my first defense no one stood with me, but all forsook me. May it not be charged against them.”

Paul forgave those who betrayed him. This is what’s right to do. We have all betrayed the Lord at one time or another, and He has always forgiven us. We must always follow His example. I know it hurts. I know it’s not fair how they treated you. I know your life may have been torn apart because of what they did. I know how miserable it made you. I know some seek forgiveness, but some who betrayed may live happy with what they did. They may always be happy about how they tried to destroy you. Do not consider them. Your forgiveness is not determined by the heart of the forgiven. Your forgiveness is determined by the heart of the one who died so you could be forgiven. The one who knows the hurt of betrayal, and who suffered for it. The one who loves us, and hates it when we hurt. Jesus teaches us that forgiving our betrayers frees us of the pain of what they did to us. It’s true. Forgive, and be free.